The Battle That Is School

As many other people of my age, I hate school. Not because of the boring classes I have everyday, but because of the people who go there.

This seems cruel and it makes me look like a complete biatch that hates the world, but I'm not. Two years ago I changed schools, in hope that everything would go better on this new one. You see, in my old school, people ignored me all the time, I was always on my own, I felt completely unwanted. With changing schools, I hoped this would be better. It was... the first half year.

They all have this sympathy for you, because you changed schools. I was (and still am) a very shy person that has a hard time making friends. At the beginning it all went good, people were nice to me, I felt wanted, like they wanted to be my friend. But everything changed the next school year. There was a huge change of my class and I went from wanted to a nobody again. I still don't understand. Okay, I don't talk much, but people should know that by now, that that is my personality. It makes it even harder that I barely have things in common with them. It got from bad to worse and I'm almost at my deepest point.

It is not that people bully me, not at all, but ignoring isn't actually the way either. Lately I, got this feeling, that they are constantly talking about me behind my back, especially this one girl. She whispers with others and when I come close she stops and changes the subject. Doesn't that say enough? Today, I had P.E. class for the first time in two weeks, since I was absent the past times. The others of my class had already practised an excercise for the test, but the teacher told me I had to help too. So I suggested a couple of things, adding 'I don't know' all the time, because she was obviously looking filthy at me. Afterwards I went to put on some shoes for another excercise and when I came back, she was again whispering with another girl and when I passed by she stopped. I have absolutely no idea what I ever did wrong to her, but she has been this way for quite a while now. The problem is that everyone seems turned to me, like I did something wrong, but I absolutely don't know what that is. It's killing me inside...

But what should you do if you were in my situation? Talk to them about it. It's because I'm not one hundred percent sure that I'm not telling yet, because I need to be sure first, to not make a fool out of myself. I really want a solution, because I can't take this much longer anymore...